Before I talk about marriage and share the wonderful movie trailer at the end of this e-mail, I want to have a family fireside chat:
I know you’re hearing from us more than often — it’s for a few reasons:
1. We have a wonderful, new VA (virtual assistant) who is keeping on task so that we don’t drop off the face of the earth in between communications.Thank you, Anne Maree!
2. We are finally landing after a crazy year of travel, house-sitting, moldy apartment experience, and hotels and have a lot to update you on since it’s been SUCH a wild year, full of life lessons.
3. We are in the special time-period of pre-launch for a wonderful movie that Rock and I got to be in, called The Thyroid Secret.
My mailing list is varied:
Some of you know me because of my years as a professional singer and speaker – traveling around the country sharing stories and songs of inspiration as well as recording in the studio on great projects like “Make Me Your Voice I and II” or “Doing What We’re Made to Do” and so many others.
Some of you know me because of my work with kids in the music – performing that wonderful event in front of 17,000 people with Celine Dion, recording for Andrae Crouch, Charlie Peacock, Tim McGraw and more — and doing music lessons, music camps, and afterschool music programs.
Some of you know me because of my spiritual conversation that I took very public – About how my life shifted out of a fear-based relationship with God and traveled into a place based on love and trust, rather than a strict dogma. How, when I stopped performing for God and started just embracing the idea that God is Love and Love made me so, I must be love. Which means everyone is love. The podcasts and blogs and travels around the country that came from that might have been what brought us together.
Some of you know me because my husband and I were very honest about a challenge we had early on in the beginning of our marriage — centered around how pornography had become a crutch for Rock when he was a teen after his mom died, and ended up having a devastating impact on our marriage. You might have heard our radio interviews and talks at conferences around the US — or maybe you worked with us as we established our non-profit, “Common Ground” to support marriages and families who were going through tough times as well.
And some of you know me because of my work with Hashimoto’s (the autoimmune condition that attacks the thyroid) and my book “You’re Not Crazy and You’re Not Alone.” (add hyper link on the book title. It’s on Amazon) where I address the big question: “If our body is at war with itself, where are we not at peace with life?”
It’s been a renaissance life of music, writing, speaking, coaching, spiritual shifting — and most of all:
One of the places that I have been given to grow is in my marriage.
And if I’m being butt-honest: It hasn’t been easy.
Meeting Rock when I was 18 and getting married when I was 20, while I had a huge piece of emotional Samsonite from a painful past, and was pretty sure I knew everything I needed to know about life and marriage — was kind of a recipe for “Oh honey, you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.”
I had no idea how my trust and control issues were going to collide with his passive “take care of me” issues. I loved to work a lot and manage our lives and keep a million plates spinning — partly because I was really productive and an entrepreneur — and partly because I was avoiding connecting to myself in quiet ways. Being still would have meant that I would have to hear the noise of my inner critic who frankly, was such a bitch and bad friend to me — it’s no wonder I avoided her by keeping myself uber-busy and in charge of the whole show.
I kept it up for a long time — until I got sick. At 27 years-old, I couldn’t function. Brain fog, insomnia, and massive weight gain were only a few of the dozens of symptoms that stopped me in my tracks and kept me from functioning as I had before.
Well, when I stopped playing the role of “Miss Know it All and Do It All” because of Hashimoto’s, life slapped both Rock and me in the face.
We couldn’t dance the same dance. He couldn’t wait for me to lead our lives anymore — and I couldn’t control everything — because I couldn’t even lead or control my own life, I was so sick.
It pushed every freakin’ button we had.
It was a nightmare.
And then, for a long time.
Because we didn’t just have our past, we now had an illness to deal with that was stirring the pot and bringing everything that was unhealthy to the surface.
We had real needs to be met, but we were so incapacitated by the felt needs and unhealed places that we didn’t know how to function with the impact of this autoimmune condition.
We needed healing in three ways:
Of what was going on inside of us as individuals,
Of what was going on between us,
And of what was happening in my body because of Hashimoto’s. (And all the things that that affected in every area of our lives.)
It was a whole lot of ‘not boring’ — trust me.
My health changed.
Our finances changed.
Our lifestyle changed.
My energy changed.
Our priorities changed.
Our ability to work, changed.
Pretty much, everything changed.
Eventually, it changed for the better but holy schniz, it was a process.
Rock and I are so committed to sharing our process with you so that you can shortcut your way to healing — whether it’s your health, your past hurts, your spirituality, or your relationships.
We talk about some of the key relationship parts in this wonderful docuseries by our dear friend and colleague, Dr. Izabella Wentz. It’s called “The Thyroid Secret” and since 1-3 people deal with it, likely you — or someone you care about — is affected by it.
And if you’re affected by it, likely, so are your relationships.
I can’t encourage you enough to add this resource to your library. It is rich in so many directions, including the conversation about relationships.
Here is a trailer to get you into the conversation!
Here is your special link to sign up for the free viewing which begins on March 1st.
May our relationships experience the healing and health that is available as we continue to grow in loving ourselves and each other.
Sending you so much love,