Here we are at the last three BOW (Bits of Wisdom) of a life of Priorities.

If you need to get caught up on the background story and the first three, click here. And if you’re looking for the second three, click here.

And here we are at the finale!

The opening night of 160 kids taught me lesson #7

Perform with Abandon (and Remember, it’s Not All About That)

You know, we all would want to win the gold if we were an Olympic medalist but the truth is that even though we prepare for race day, that day will come and go and what we will be left with are the LESSONS and the CHARACTER and the RESULTS of training up until that point.

The disciplines of training, the muscles that are stronger, the speeds that are faster, the mental stamina that has more endurance… That will help you in countless other ways in life.

So, with our musical performance, I wanted everyone to be as free and happy as they could be as they were on stage. I wanted them to know their parts with CONFIDENCE and to shine like the dawn.

Because you know what? Performing well is a BLAST!

And we ARE working toward the goal of a performance, after all

And, at the same time, if a line or a cue or a dance move is missed, I don’t want anyone’s world to end, because life actually goes on and what we’re left with is ourselves. So, while we want to do our best, we don’t want our sense of worth to be hinged on the way we performed — not in either direction — whether we did really well or not.

So, it’s holding the tension of both: Doing our very best and not being so attached to the outcome that we squeeze the joy out of the performance or the joy out of us!

How does that apply to weight loss or money saving or whatever it is? We do our part: We prepare, we do our best to win the prize of the goal — like eating consciously at each meal or being thoughtful in our spending… but if the scale doesn’t show the number on the day we thought it should — or if the car needed a new tire and the savings got slowed down — we don’t lose our sense of self or our eye toward the goal. We can have peace and joy along the process, aim for hitting the mark and still love ourselves when we don’t.

Super importante…

Celebrate the Success!

An after-party is a super essential part of the process of all the work and the performance. It allows for a happy gathering to chat and cheer on and support the cast and crew for the musical. The parents get to say, “Good job!” to the other parents while they drink a little too much wine and the kiddos get to come back down to reality and laugh, play tag, and eat gluten-free cupcakes and carrot sticks with vegan dressing with abandon (okay…  My party would have gluten-free cupcakes and carrot sticks with vegan dressing.)

I went through a very utilitarian time when I thought that celebrating was sort of unnecessary. Sigh. Why bother. We all did well. Some didn’t. Rah, rah, siss boom bah. Let’s just go home and have a bath.

But no… The Ebenezer Scrooge, hyper-efficient part of me eventually returned back to Celebrating Stacey and realized that a moment to pause and party was actually, in its own way, a way of giving thanks.

When Rock and I got debt free, we went out to dinner.
When I ended a successful and amazing Italian retreat, we went out to dinner.
When I finished my first 100 Day Gong…

My husband gave me a plaque, commemorating my life-transforming 100 Days!

And then, you know…

We went out to dinner.

So, yes. Whatever it is that you’re aiming for — make sure you factor in a celebration as part of the plan.

I’m Italian. Mine often includes food but it doesn’t have to.

Go paint together.
Pick out a stone or shell off the beach and put it in a bowl of great moments commemorated by shells and stones.
Write a gratitude on a slip of paper and put it in a mason jar.
Do a candle ceremony and share the good new around the table with your loved ones.
Buy a new dress.
Take a picture of you jumping in the air like a Toyota commercial and frame it.
Plan a trip.

Whatever it is, just find a way to stop and say, “Thanks and Hooray!” in your own special way.

Evaluate the Experience

You just did this massively huge thing and what? You’re just going to clean up and move on? Nope.

It’s time, while the memories are still fresh in your mind, to sit down with a beer or a strong cup of coffee and make a list like my friend, Josh, does after he delivers a talk:

Name three things that went well
Name three things that need improvement

That’s sort of his method but truly, it would be GREAT to brainstorm after the fact, whether alone or with your team what you would have done differently and what you would do all over again, given the chance.


Because it wasn’t just an experience,
It was a LEARNING experience.

The way that learning happens is often with conscious reflection.

Each night, at my Italian retreat, I sat down with my Soul Assistant, Jessi, and said, “Let’s talk about today — what went well, what needed some refinement.” or something like that, and we chatted.

It was so good to pause and reflect so that we could evaluate.

Honesty lives in the evaluation.

Shifting lives in the evaluation.

Guess what? My retreat in Italy this year is going to be even more amazing than last year. Why?
Because I took time to see what worked and what could work even better.

That’s an important part of the whole game and because it is, it’s important to take time and intention for it.

So, there you go, the list of 9 BOW that you can apply to ANY area or project of your life:

Begin with the End
Assess the Elements
Know Your Time Frame
Break it down into Digestible Parts
Enroll the Help of Others
Share the Vision Often
Perform with Abandon (And Remember it’s Not All About That)
Celebrate the Success
Evaluate the Experience

Was this valuable to you? Let me know what you’re working on with a private e-mail straight to me here, or in the comments below… I’d love to know and hold the space for you to see your dreams cross the finish line.

Can’t wait to hear all the good that you’re up to.

Sending big love,