Sometimes we feel this way — like the three kids in the picture above.
like we’re holding on to this idea of a good life and we’re crying in our symptoms
and our soup.
I get it. Trust me.
I’ll just state the obvious so you know you’re not alone:
– Sometimes, it’s hard to keep a vision for your health when you feel like poop on a cracker.
– Sometimes it’s hard to dream of some amazing future vacation to Italy when you can’t even get out of your bed in Anytown, USA.
– And sometimes it’s hard to feel the joy that you know is within you when there are so many icky feelings vying for your attention.
Yesterday was one of those days and I did three things that helped:
1. I called my friend, Dave. He’s one of my close personal friends, as well as a business cohort. We have accountability and honesty with each other as we walk through my book projects, his film and book projects, or our life and family stuff.
Today was my day to B and M (Bitch and Moan)
I told him, “I feel like crap between the med changes and the flu and I’m looking around at the mess in my living room and if I go downstairs, I’m going to see a mess down there too. I feel like I”m never going to feel well and everything is a massive failure. Including me.”
He got right in there with me, “Stace, when you feel sick, it’s not the time to make a judgment about your entire life. You don’t have perspective. The house will get cleaned — it’s not a microcosm of your whole life.”
I said, “But, then there are my thighs…”
He laughed, “Your thighs aren’t a microcosm of your whole life either…”
I was dubious.
Essentially he was saying “Don’t judge your life by the mess.”
I wrote a quote in my Bloom Beautiful book/app about that:
“When you judge someone
you see the mess in their life.
But when you love someone
you see the ‘life’ in their mess.
Love someone today
and let it be
Yesterday wasn’t the day to look at my life through a filter of judgment. I needed a filter of love.
2. I went outside for a walk. I bundled up. Took my 12 year-old son, Caleb out for a walk. The rains in So Cal have been much needed and the air is still threatening more rain. In between storms the air feels so clean and good. Caleb looked up at the dark sky, “Oh, it’s a starless night.”
I smiled. He knows the names of all the clouds and many of the constellations. Every where we go, I learn something from Caleb about nature or science or history. It’s like I gave birth to my own personal, walking Encyclopedia.
I said, “It’s only starless from where we can see. The stars are there. Behind it all.”
“Well, of course…” He said in his pre-teen, “Duh, Mom.” kind of way.
But it comforted me. Because it reminded me:
Behind this healing process is still me. The inspiring, encouraging, loving person who is healing and a healer. I just lose sight of it on the hard days.
I needed a friend and nature offer me some perspective.
3. I gave myself what I needed, even when I didn’t feel like it. I ate healthy soups and rested, and watched Real(ly Ridiculous) Housewives of Beverly Hills on HuluPlus, even though I wanted to clean more. I let my open schedule, which has been rather full these days, serve me.
It was an act of love. I loved myself by giving me what I needed most.
I want to remind you today:
WONDERFUL still lives within you, even if you’re cranky.
HEALTH still lives within you, even when you feel like crap.
LOVE, JOY, PEACE, HAPPINESS, DREAMS, GIFTS, STRENGTHS
all live within you.
They are not gone.
If you need a reminder:
Phone a friend,
go out in nature, and
give yourself what you truly need.
Please love yourself in the process of your healing. Be kind and gentle and generous with you.
There is no one like you in the world —
it wouldn’t be the same without you.
Be good to you.
You’re the only ‘you’
If you’re wanting to learn to love yourself, laugh, and let go of the victim stuff; pick up my book: You’re Not Crazy and You’re Not Alone
What you’re talking about is so important! I learned how to work with perspectives in coaching school. I have no idea how it took me over 4 decades to figure out this magnificent tool, but it did.
I have to remind myself to shift like you suggested when I get in a funk. The effort is worth it & I believe that every time we do this, we are training our brains in a positive way!