When Drama Strikes…
Girlfriend, have you ever had one of those people in your life who is like an emotional tornado?
She’ll tear your house down in a minute with the drama she creates?
Everything is a problem.
And if it’s not a problem, she can turn it into one.
With her negativity
Do you want to know the secret for not having those people in your life anymore?
How to shift your vibration beyond the elevation of the tornado?
It comes this way:
Notice where you are the victim in your life
And how that creates drama for you and others around you
And start to take care of yourself in the ways that you expect others to take care of you
And start to be the friend to you
That you expect others to be to you.
Now, you are likely NOT the raging nightmare that friend of yours is, I get it.
And you know you are the most amazing person in a million other ways (YOU ARE!)
But the thing is this…
If your life energy is full of this kind of tornado energy from your friends or family members, this is one place to look at (there are three others that I will share in other posts.)
So, start here — with examining you.
Because if life is a mirror,
A lot of times the Drama Queen goes away
When you take care of the Drama Queen in you.
I know this from dealing with the victim in me, Girlfriends.
That my circle around me changed a LOT when I healed to the wonder of who I am and not the limits I thought I was.
When my needy, victim energy changed to ready, self-loving energy.
I’m still working on it and I’m inviting you into that conversation — because I want YOU to remember that:
The safest person in the room is you.
The most powerful healer in the room is you.
The most loving friend you could ever have
You may not like the discomfort of this conversation
but trust me,
it’s better than living with a tornado who’s ripping your house and heart up by the roots every time you’re around her.
It’s time for this to end.
Loving yourself and doing the deep, honest work
So that was the post in my Girlfriends’ Guide to Hashimoto’s Group last week. It brought up some good questions from the ladies and I wanted to share with all of you that can help you navigate the storm of female drama in your life.
1. Does this kind of drama live in me?
It’s so easy to point the finger at someone else’s misbehavior because, as my husband says, “It’s hard to not look at someone who poured gasoline all over their body and lit themselves on fire.”
Sometimes people are so distracting with their behavior that we forget to ask ourselves, “Do I do that too? Maybe I don’t act like the screaming nightmare that person does, but at the essence, do I create tornadoes in my life?”
To see that we do is a gift. Because once you can see it, you can shift it.
(How? You ask. Answer at the end of the blog :-))
2. Do I have judgment in me about people who are like this?
I’m tempted to place this question as number 1 because it kind of goes with number 1 – – but it’s fine here because this question is a great standby for me at any time.
I’ve found that what I judge usually glues itself to me and travels with me until I recognize that the thing I judge in others is usually something I judge me for and not only wish I could change in me, but usually resent, criticize and hate myself for. Sometimes those feelings get really buried inside of us but then, come to the surface about another person. So, if you have a drama queen in your life and you’re finding yourself particularly critical, looking within for the judgment you have about your imperfect places is a healing place to start.
3. Is this drama familiar to me?
Sometimes the drama doesn’t live inside of us because it just doesn’t or we’ve healed it — but it’s familiar to us. Maybe we’ve lived in a crazy, Italian family like me — or another passionate culture or there’s been some other dynamic that would surround us with drama. When that exists, we experience the intermingling of intense love with intense crazy and then drama feels comfortable because we got used to it when we were young and we associate it as a normal part of the package of someone loving us.
4. Is there a tool I have in my toolbox to turn this around?
When people enter our world and push our buttons and we want to react, if we can step back and observe we can look at from a different place. To say, “I see drama. That’s not very high vibe. What have I learned in my life that I can use here to shift the dynamic or elevate the energy of this situation?” It’s a great exercise because we get to access our super power of being able to turn things around.
5. How can I learn from this to be a better version of me?
Sometimes people teach us what we want to be and do, and sometimes they teach us what we don’t want to be and do.
I saw one parent be really judging and the other parent be really forgiving. One be good with money, the other not be good with money. Both were really generous. I learned from all of that. Everything is my teacher when I’m willing to let it be.
Those questions support me so much in my health and well-being. The life coach in me loves asking questions that will move us toward freedom and growth. (EVERYTHING, including drama queens, give us an opportunity to grow.)
But answers are fun, too. So, here are some tips on how to turn it around:
Take care of your needs.
Meet your needs.
Love yourself first.
Have a vision for your life.
Get clear on your purpose.
Stay focused on your goals.
When we come to relationships needy, we create drama.
When we come to relationships powerless, we create drama.
When we expect someone to love us more than we love ourselves, we create drama.
When we come to relationships visionless, we create drama.
When you are ready and not needy.
When you are full of vision and power and loving who you are,
You honestly don’t have the time, energy, or interest to create problems or manage someone else’s drama.
Sometimes we stay in the relationships, sometimes we take a break, sometimes we walk away…
All of those are up to you, but the clearest way to know what to do is to take care of your heart and home and fill it up with so much love, peace, and joy
that there’s really no room for anything else.
Sending you love as you live this good stuff out,