So often we get in that Wish Upon a Star place — where we want to win the lottery, lose all the weight, and find Prince Charming to whisk us away…
But that’s not really the whole deal is it?
The dream and desire and vision are all ESSENTIAL. That’s where the juice of our passion lives and where the fire in our belly is ignited.
If we don’t take action based on the feelings, we just live in the wishing place.
The wanting place.
The “I can blame someone or something else that I don’t have the life of my dreams”
You see, Wishing and Wanting are super important — and so is Willing to do the Work.
That’s where a lot of dreams fail. We want something and then we wait…
We wait for some ONE
or some THING
or some CIRCUMSTANCE
To arrive at the front door and rescue us from Life As We Know It and take us away to our Dreams Coming True place.
Let’s be honest: Dreams are risky.
You know why?
Because they will either succeed
Or they will fail.
And both of those options are triggers for us.
If we have failure, how will we face our family, friends, colleagues, investors, spiritual community?
If we have failure, how will we trust ourselves again or have others trust us again?
So instead of risking, we stay put, we stay silent, we stay dreaming, but not DOING.
Sometimes we blame our lack of motion on our childhood problems or our former spouse (the past) or not enough money or time — or too many children (the present) or our frustration with where the world is heading with politics, global warming, and the economy (the future)
But the real nitty, gritty that gets in the way of our dreams coming true?
It’s really that, plain and simple.
Oh it dresses itself up as hopelessness (I could never do that) or realism (it’s too late for me)
But the truth is that we just get afraid.
Afraid that people will be unhappy with us
And reject us
Or be able to gloat if we mess up
That we won’t be able to recover financially or ego-ically in the face of the attempt.
But you said, “Fear of success, Stacey… what do you mean?”
Well, I mean just that…
If you’ve never had success in the grand way you’ve dreamed it could be:
Fear of the unknown
or of becoming someone you don’t recognize
or acting haughty
or having people ask you for money (because you’re so successful)
or having attention
or having to maintain the success (there’s no place to fall when you’re already down, right? So, why go up and risk falling?)
Or, even fear of giving up the safety of the excuses — because maybe life is pretty comfortable right now and comfortable feels ‘safe’ even though it doesn’t feel ‘good.’
You know for me, I’ve sabotaged my weight loss a scrillion times as I started getting attention from men.
I was worried that I would be sexually abused again (past)
I was worried that I would let it go to my head and act differently (present)
I was worried that it would leave me tempted to be unfaithful (future)
So, I stayed fat.
But staying where you are isn’t the answer — unless you love where you are.
But if you have a dream that you are not DOING something about, there are TWO ways to handle it:
Either deal with the fear — which will lead you to do the actions
Do the actions — which will lead you to deal with the fear.
Because one is going to lead to the other.
Front door/Back door is what I call it.
When your beliefs change, your actions change (Front door)
When your actions change, your beliefs change (Back door)
So, either the angels come and sing to you the revelation of how amazing you are and how safe you truly are within YOU and that life is truly conspiring on your behalf
You put on your big girl panties and in the face of 1000 fears and weird feelings, you get up and DO the action steps toward your dreams AND THEN you will see how freaking, unbelievably amazing you are and that YOU are safe within YOURSELF.
For me, right now, my dreams are about my health, weight loss and next retreats to Italy.
I’m doing something about all of them and God, it really is provoking (especially the weight loss one… I’ve been a skosh moody, right honey?) BUT,
Here’s the cool thing: It’s like taking off in a plane: once you get past that first 10,000 feet (where the greatest risk is for something going wonky) you get to cruising altitudes where you can settle in and enjoy the ride.
Living at the higher place (where your dreams live) is an adjustment at first but eventually it becomes the new normal.
I know it’s scary to give up the comforts and crutches of our safe life, but I also know that it’s way better living in the dreams that you are here to create.
I know that because I’ve done both and the second one is way better, let me tell you…
Here is the mantra I want to encourage you to say:
I am allowed to have good things.
I am willing to have good things.
I am able to have good things.
Let me know if you’d like some coaching through the fears or stuck places — I’m here for you!
And stay tuned for next time when we talk about the Power of Intention in making our dreams come true!
Sending you big love,
P.S. – Didn’t Edison have a fabulous attitude about his 1000 failed attempts at making a light bulb?
“I now know 1000 ways to not make a light bulb!”
THAT is a great dream-building attitude!