Happy marriages don’t make happy people;
Happy people make happy marriages.
Before asking yourself, “Am I happy in my marriage?”
(which is a totally valid and fine question)
Ask yourself first, “Did I come to the marriage as a happy person?”
Because if we had a tendency to be a gripe-y, hard-to-please, tough-to-satisfy, judge-y kind of person before we walked through door of our relationship, chances are pretty much 100% that we didn’t suddenly change in the presence of our partner.
We have to look at that honestly in order to be free.
Our happiness is our responsibility. And when we take that on, and truly own it, we stop expecting anyone else to.
And when we stop expecting someone else to fill our cup of happiness, we stop feeling so disappointed in them and start enjoying them more.
And they stop feeling like our god, our parent, our mind-reader, our healer, and our failure.
It lets them off the hook of having to be anything but our partner, our lover, and our friend.
And with all that space that’s not filled with disappointment, there is new equilibrium and deep relief. And a chance for true love to thrive.
So many of us have struggled to grasp this:
That the level of joy and satisfaction we experience in life is in direct proportion to the amount of that we bring to the table.
So, if your plate of satisfaction is lacking and your cup of happiness is empty, it’s not because your spouse didn’t fill it — it’s because you haven’t figured out it’s yours to fill.
Once that happens, you are taking your right and Divine power back into your hands
and into your heart.
You are saying, “How I see life is my responsibility.”
You are saying, “I own my joy. I’m in charge of my peace, my health, and my bliss.”
You are saying, “You’re off the hook to be more than you are.”
And then, the greatest thing happens. You move forward.
Love someone today
and let it be