You can’t go around pleasing everyone.
The people who are going to be easily offended by you
were already working up to that crescendo in their life
way before you entered the scene of their crime.
They were drama-filled
cutting people off
needing people to say things
the right way
at the right time
all the time
kind of people.
When they were frantic and you were calm
it was you.
When they were mean and you were kind
it was you.
When they were aggressive and you put up a boundary
it was you.
See, you couldn’t have played any other role in their life
because they already had written you as ‘the bad one’
and themselves as the ‘victim.’
You can’t re-write their story about you
and life
and whatever else they’ve got going.
You can only look at you
and your story
and where they fit in to your drama.
Notice the drama
and for where it lives in you?
Recognize it and your power to have written life that way
and then, write a new story.
For where it lives in them?
Write your exit scene.
With love
and grace
without offense
or a need to be right.
Because you know what?
This never was about being ‘right’
this was about being ‘you.’
And when someone else made it about you being ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ that’s when it became their problem.
Leave that drama at their door.
Leave the easy-offense
and the ‘you never do anything right’
and the ‘we need to talk’
(again, and again, and again)
kind of headache at their door.
You know why you don’t need to have another sit-down with that person to ‘talk it out’? Because you can’t talk them out of their story about life and you. And you can’t make them see that they do this pretty much everywhere in their life. That they have these same issues with the waitress, and the postman, and the neighbor and their family.
You can’t make them see that.
So, don’t even try.
You just love them
and bless them
and recognize that we all have our blind spots that crash us into something
and you walk away
unwilling to be the next thing they crash into anymore.
It’s okay to walk away.
Loving them doesn’t mean
staying to be abused.
Because staying in an emotionally abusive situation
wouldn’t be very loving to you,
and that makes it your issue.
Is that your issue?
Staying with people who punish you for being
‘you?’
That’s worth looking at.
But if it’s not your issue
you’re worth walking away.
Love doesn’t ask you to be spackle for the holes in someone else’s life,
And it doesn’t ask you to be the perfect character in someone else’s story,
and it doesn’t ask you to live so small that you never offend anyone with your presence.
If that’s what you’re being asked
then, love yourself enough to walk away.
It’s okay to love
and walk away.
The way we value the treasure we are
is by placing ourselves in the lives of people
who see the treasure, too.
It’s okay to treasure yourself.
Love someone today
and let it be
you.
Stacey