In this episode I share my Hashimoto’s Journey. I’ve helped tens of thousands of people all across the world with my book You’re Not Crazy and You’re Not Alone. There are a new generation of people springing up who need to feel supported.
I will share my unique way that I’ve allowed Hashimoto’s to work for me. How I’ve chosen to have Hashimoto’s serve me instead of master me. My heart in all of this is to short cut you in your journey so you don’t have to go the long hard winding road that I have.
1:24 Introduction / Intentions of the First Hashimoto’s Podcast
3:30 – What is Hashimoto’s?
4:30 My Story: Growing up
When you don’t feel safe, and you don’t feel in control, you’ll find external ways to feel powerful.
It’s not only one level of stress to go through something, It’s another level of stress to hide what you’re going through. I can give you a sense of feeling alone unknown and not understood.
7:35 – On meeting my husband + Finding my worth in work
When we seek out a spouse, were seeking them out on two different levels. The level that’s healthy and the level in us that’s not healthy. And so it just depends on ‘what are you going to lead with?
It’s not only one level of stress to go through something, It’s another level of stress to hide what you’re going through. It can give you a sense of feeling alone, unknown and not understood.
10:02 – On living one way and feeling another. And my butt being cold.
(AKA my pre-diagnosis symptoms)
It’s like when you go through a hard time in life and you’re going at slower pace or you’ve got your some of your internal structures really strong, thats one things, But when you’re driving fast and lose and you’re already in in a vulnerable pace because you’re kind of messy on the inside even though you look put together on the outside you’re going to hit that bump and you’re going to soar and then you’re going to crash and burn. Which is what happened to me.
14:55 On living in spite of my symptoms
15:40 Doctor’s Journey “A pill for each ill”
Whatever there was, there was a pill that I was handed.
They kept looking at me and they’d tell me this is all in your head. And I’m like: How do you gain this much weight and it’s all in your head? How does your skin freak out and it’s all in your head? How does your stomach hurt and it’s all in your head? How is your hair falling out and it’s all in your head?
There was something going on physiologically and the pills weren’t addressing it.
17:28 – “Could you just snap out of it?”
They were frustrated because I wasn’t snapping out of it, I wasn’t providing in the same abundant way that I was used to. I couldn’t rise up.
Instead of people looking at me with compassion I got mocked.
There was a log of judgement. A lot of misunderstanding. A lot of misdiagnosis at that time. I reached a point where my doctor even said that’s it I’m just frustrated. You need to stop wasting my time. You keep taking my time from me.
19:40 – The turning point. Or what I thought would be.
I picked up the prescription, I took the pill, I started working out. Here I was at 240 pounds and within three months when I was “supposed to be back down to my normal weight” I was now 270 pounds. My skin was bleeding. My hair turned color and the doctors all looked at me and said this is what happens before someone dies.
I needed to examine my life. Whatever of my life is left.
23:20 : Surgery or God
I would just live my days trying to find my way through the maze of finding my health finding my peace finding MY center. i was do driven by things that were on the outside that I was having to address this thing that I couldn’t hide.
25:40 Taking Hashimoto’s on as a Spiritual Journey
It’s almost like my issues were saying that’s it! We’re not going to let you hide anymore. And so I took this on as a spiritual; journey. I slowed down and I asked myself some questions about where is the resletellness coming from where is the drivenness coming from where is my lack of safety coming from and just kind of following the breadcrumbs to lead me to some significant revelations I needed to have about my belief that I was unworthy of love unless I performed, or looked a certain way a certain wait or provided a certain amount.
The belief was I was rejectable and that i was undeserving of someones devotion or faithfulness. That I felt unsafe, and nobody in my life made me feel safe so I constructed a world where I was making me feel safe from things that I could do on the outside.
So now that I couldn’t provide for myself or take care of myself in the same way or even keep myself safe in the same was I had to examine, where is my heart? Where is my trust? What do I rest in if there’s no one really outside of me to do that?
I realized that I kept myself so busy because I really just didn’t want to be alone with me. Because I didn’t know me and what I knew about me I didn’t trust or like about ,e I had a critical voice in my head. I was very self condemning, very self loathing, very self rejecting, and held myself to a very high state of perfectionism.
27:38 Getting Clearer
What is Hashimoto’s? Hashimoto’s is when the body is attacking the thyroid. OK. Well where am I attacking me? Where am I living without peace where am I living life like I am at war with me?
I was able to see that I hadn’t been loving to me. I was able to see that I hadn’t been kind to me. That I hadn’t been safe within the walls of my body, my life. And I was living as a dictator over my body, demanding that it push past things that it really wasn’t designed to.
I had to go on the journey of loving myself where I was, and it wasn’t even TO get me to a goal. It was to love me because I needed love. Because I was designed to love and be loved.
31:14 Transformations, and losing the victim (no more finger pointing)
I started making changes and choices that reflected what love would do.
34:17 You’re Not Crazy. You’re Not Alone. You Are Powerful.
You are powerful to make changes to your health today that can impact you tomorrow.
The journey for so many of us with Hashimoto’s is about getting back to a place where we can love ourselves.
Love is a wonderful inspiration, but it’s a terrible reward.
39:30 You are Worthy
Stop looking at the external indicators to see whether or not you’re deserving of a good life just know what the journey is to go inside to love yourself NOW.
If you’re waiting for the feeling (to love yourself) then you’re waiting for the wrong things. Because they don’t always show up first.
41:37 Your body is Inclined toward Health
It is always working to find the greatest route back to your health.
Where To Find Stacey:
*Also mentioned: The Guy’s Guide to Hashimoto’s; Rock Robbins — Hashimoto’s from the husband’s angle. Helping to understand the physical, psychological, relational and relationship dynamics. Learn what’s going on in your woman’s body and life when they have Hashimoto’s.
(Music for podcast: www.bensound.com)